The 7 habits of highly effective people

Dependence means you need others to get what you want (image by freepik)

Stephen Richards Covey (RIP July 2012) was an American educator, author, businessman and keynote speaker. Below is the highlight of his popular book "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" (1989)

Covey introduces the concept of paradigm shift and helps the reader understand that different perspective exist, that two people can see the same thing and yet differ with each other 

Covey also introduces the Maturity Continuum. These are three successive stages of increasing maturity: dependence, independence and interdependence. At birth, everybody is dependent, and characteristics of dependence may linger, this is the first and lowest stage if maturity. 

Dependence means you need others to get what you want. All of us began life as an infant, depending on others nurturing and sustenance. I may be intellectually dependent on other people's thinking. I may be emotionally dependent on other people's affirmation and validation of me. 
Dependence is the attitude of "you". you take care of me... or you don't come through and I blame you for the result. 

Independence means you are pretty much free from the external influence and support of others,...Independence is the attitude of " I " ..... it is the avowed goat of many individuals, and also many social movements, to enthrone independence as the highest level of achievement, but is is not the ultimate goal in effective living. There is a far more mature and more advanced level 

Interdependence. The third and highest level in the Maturity Continuum is interdependence. We live in an interdependent reality. Interdependence is essential for good leaders; good team players; a successful marriage of family life; in organizations. 
Interdependence is the attitude of " we "; we can co-operate; we can be a team; we can combine our talents. 

Each of the first three habits is intended to help achieve independence. The next three habits are intended to help achieve interdependence. The final, seventh habit is intended to help maintain these achievements.

How to maintain : 
Independence 
The first three habits surround moving from dependence to independence (i.e, self mastery) : 

1. Be proactive 
Talks about the concept of circle of influence and circle of concern. Work from the center of your influence and constantly work to expand it. Don't sit and wait in a reactive mode, waiting for problems to happen (circle of concern) before taking action. 

2. Begin with the end in mind 
Envision what you want in the future so you can work and plan towards it. Understand how people make decisions in their life. To be effective you need to act based on principles and constantly review your mission statement. Are you - right now - who you want to be? What do i have to say about myself? How do you want to be remembered? If habit 1 advises to change your life to act and be proactive, habit 2 advises that you are the programmer! Grow and stay humble. 
All things are created twice. Before we act we should act in our minds first, before we create something we measure twice. This is what the principle is about, do not just act, think first, is this how i want it to go and are these the correct consequences. 

3. Put first things first 
Matrix of importance vs urgency that Stephen Covey and Dwight D. Eisenhower used in deciding where to invest their efforts. 
Talks about difference between leadership and management. Leadership in the outside world begins with personal vision and personal leadership. Talks about what is important and what is urgent. 
Priority should be given in the following order (in brackets are the corresponding actions from the Eisenhower Matrix) : 4 

Quadrant I. Urgent and important (do) - Important deadlines and crises 
Quadrant II. Not urgent but important (Plan) - long term development 
Quadrant III. Urgent but not important (Delegate) - distractions with deadlines 
Quadrant IV. Not urgent and not important (Eliminate) - frivolous distractions 

The order is important; after completing items in quadrant I, We should spend the majority of our time on II, but many people spend too much time in III and IV. The calls to delegate and eliminate are effective reminders of their relative priorit. 
If habit 2 advises that you are the programmer, habit 3 advises; write the program, become a leader! Keep personal integrity; what you say vs what you do. 

Interdependence 
The next three habits talk about interdependence (e.g, working with others ) 

4. Think win-win 
Genuine feelings for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships, value and respect people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten their way. Think win-win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration. 

5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood 
Use empathetic listening to genuinely understand a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, and positive problem solving. 
The habit 5 is greatly embraced in the Greek philosophy represented by 3 words: 

Ethos 
Your personal credibility. It's the trust that you inspire, your emotional bank account 

Pathos 
Is the empathetic side, it's the alignment with the emotional trust of another person communication 

Logos is the logic, the reasoning part of the presentation. 
The order is important;ethos, pathos, logos, your character, and your relationship and then the logic of your presentation. 

6. Synergy
Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals that no one could have done alone. 
Continual improvement 
The final habit is that of continuous improvement in both the personal and interpersonal spheres of influence. 
The final habit is that continuous improvement in both the personal and interpersonal spheres of influence. 

7. Sharpen the saw 

Balance and renew your resources, energy and health to create a sustainable, long term, effective lifestyle. It primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, good prayer (meditation) and good reading for mental renewal. It also mention service to society for spiritual renewal. 

Covey explains the "Upward Spiral" model in the sharpening the saw section. Through our conscience, along with meaningful and consistent progress, the spiral will result in growth, change and constant improvement (GCCI) 

In essence, one is always attempting to integrate and master the principles outlines in the 7 habits at progressively higher levels at each iteration. Subsequent development on any habit will render a different experience and you will learn the principles with a deeper understanding. 

The upward spiral model consists of three parts : learn, commit, do (LCD). 
According to Covey, one must be increasingly education of the conscience in order to grow and develop on the upward spiral. 

The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal : freedom, security, wisdom and power. 


"Come and see what God has done. he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man" 
(Psalm 66:5)

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